In the Press
Dr. Malkin Quoted in the Press
2014
Overblown Facebook personas can leave friends deflated (09.14)
Facebook and other social media allow users to present a curated self, showing friends or the public a happier or more accomplished version of a person. Most of the time it is trivial. But in some cases, the gap between reality and the Facebook version can be striking, and troubling. Read the full article »
Why Women Stay: The Paradox of Abusive Relationships (09.14)
After a video was released showing Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée, now-wife Janay Palmer so hard that he knocked her unconscious, victims of domestic abuse took to Twitter to explain why Palmer still decided to become Mrs. Rice after the incident. Read the full article »
Hollywood's relationship myths can wreak havoc on real-life romance (08.14)
The plots of romance movies are fairly predictable. Two romantically challenged characters will meet, realize they're destined to be together, encounter a series of problems meant to separate them, but by the end they'll be wrapped in each others' arms. Cue the credits. Read the full article »
Love and Pregnancy: Can a Baby Save Your Struggling Relationship? (06.14)
In some rare cases (i.e. Hollywood movies that usually don't reflect reality), bringing a baby into the world can bring a couple closer together. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't happen at all. Read the full article »
When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You're Depressed (New Harbinger)- Foreword by Dr. Craig Malkin (03.14)
When you are feeling depressed, having a loving, supportive relationship with your partner can help you in your path towards healing and creating a happier life. But often depression interferes with your relationship, distancing you from your partner during your time of need. Get the book »
2013
Interviews
What's Her Ex Factor - Men's Health (12.13)
It's a cardinal rule of dating: don't talk about each other's exes. The pain, the unwelcome memories - some of them still fresh, perhaps. But you can thank her exes for at least one thing: leading her to you. Read the full article »
Can Narcissists Change?- The Huffington Post (09.10.13)
At the end of May 2013, I wrote an article titled 5 Early Warning Signs You're With A Narcissist. It sparked a number of rich conversations through comments, emails, facebook, and twitter. Not surprisingly, the vast majority of reactions came from people who feared they were currently in a relationship with a narcissist. Read the full article »
Lying About Your Age in LA is More Common than You May Think - Los Angeles Times (09.06.13)
Everyone in L.A. lies about his or her age, says the author of the book "Career Comeback — Repackage Yourself to Get the Job You Want."
"This is the most youth-oriented city on the planet, where you're only as old as your cosmetic dermatologist makes you look," says Lisa Johnson Mandell (no relation to the writer of this story). "This might be the only city where people use professionally Photo Shopped head shots not just for acting, but on their LinkedIn profiles, Facebook pages, and of course on their online dating profiles."
Is it worth it? Read the full article »
Mending Challenging Relationships- Psychology Today (05.07.13)
What are some simple strategies to overcome conflict and mend challenging relationships of any sort?
Ask the other person what it is that they would changed in order for the situation to feel better. When you do that, it helps them feel as if you're taking their perspective seriously. By at least repeating back to them what they just said, you show that you're trying to understand. Read the full article »
Success Tips for First Time Daters [Co-Author]- Happen Magazine (05.07.13)
Alfred and Silvia Cavagnaro met each other on Match.com, but Alfred says that he botched everything on their first date. “I arrived late,” says Alfred. “Silvia declined an alcoholic drink, but I said that I needed a drink — and then pulled out my hidden bottle of tequila. Booze was not a plus in her mind, and she was thinking to herself, 'Nice guy, but I'm not going down that road again.' Then I discussed all my exes. Who knows what else I said? Read the full article »
How to Spot a Narcissist- The Huffington Post (04.04.13)
5 Early Warning Signs You're With A Narcissist- The Huffington Post (05.30.13)
At the beginning of April this year, I was tapped by the Huffington Post Live team for a discussion on narcissism. I happily agreed to appear, for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that narcissism happens to be one of my favorite subjects. Early in my training, I had the pleasure of working with one of the foremost authorities on narcissism in our field, and in part because of that experience, I went on to work with quite a few clients who'd been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. Read the full article »
Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships? - The Huffington Post (03.01.13)
During one of my breaks yesterday, I received an email from a colleague. The subject: "Another Know Nothing." Included was a link to the evolving story about New Hampshire state legislator Mark Warden's recent comments. I scanned down the page, and just below the header, next to Warden's innocently beaming face, I found his offending remarks: "Some people could make the argument that a lot of people like being in abusive relationships. Read the full article »
Cupid’s advice for lovelorn hard to come by on Valentine’s Day- The Washington Times (02.13.13)
Lots of people think they know something about maneuvering the land mines of love. But few of them try to patent their wisdom. So the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office had a lot to consider a few years ago when it received a nine-page instruction manual titled “Interpersonal Pursuit Method” that teaches men how to attract a woman, build her trust and ultimately seduce her.Read the full article »
Can Acting in Love Help You Stay in Love? - The Huffington Post (01.11.13)
In the same way that assuming a "power pose" builds our confidence, intentionally engaging in loving, passionate behaviors appears to spark romantic excitement. Read the full article »
2012
Interviews
Can Cyborgs Fall in Love? - The Huffington Post (12.28.12)
In the process of crafting our second self, we can only retain our humanity -- and our capacity to love -- if we use technology in a way that doesn't leave us anemic and enervated. Read the full article »
Is Empathy Sexy? - The Huffington Post (12.10.12)
The researchers suspected that anxiously and securely attached people, who seek out and enjoy intimacy, would be turned on by empathy, while avoidantly attached people, who get a little squeamish about closeness, would be turned off by a caring listener. Read the full article »
How to Overcome Neediness - The Huffington Post (11.15.12)
When we're gripped by the terror of neediness, we feel completely out of control. When we bear witness to it, we feel confused and overwhelmed, wondering if any amount of reassurance will ever be enough. How can we understand these moments? More importantly, how can the needy find relief? Read the full article »
Win Her Back: Rebound From Any Relationship Mistake - Men's Health (10.12.12)
You can recover from botched dates, fumbled trysts, and sunken relationships. In fact, do it right and she'll love you twice as much the second time around. Read the full article »
How Technology Makes Us Afraid of Intimacy - The Huffington Post (09.24.12)
One of my clients, Lisa, 25, a socially anxious software engineer, hadn't been to a party, let alone on a date, in months. She was far too busy racking up points on a new online multiplayer game. "I'm lonely most of the time, she confessed "but when I get lost in the game, I forget all about how terrible I feel. " Read the full article »
Boyfriends and Boy Friends: How to Keep Both - Women's Health (08.01.12)
For most men, food is the language of love. However, a delicious meal could tear you and your guy apart just as easily as it can bring you together-that is, if you're dining with another dude. Read the full article »
Is She the One? Nine Questions You Must Ask Her - Men's Health (06.20.12)
Don't let her hotness blind you from facing facts if she's a hot mess. "In context, ask her how she's made important life decisions, such as accepting a job or making a move," says psychologist Craig Malkin, Ph.D. "You're looking for signs of a reckless, flaky approach to life." Read the full article.
Sin and sex, politics and religion - Providence Journal, Newsday, Scrippnews, Associated Press (06.20.12)
Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist and psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School, points out that after an abortion some women with trauma histories have severe stress reactions. He says, "The American Psychological Association's position, based on research evidence, is that abortions do not harm women's mental health." Read the full article.
Being Confident Will Get You More Dates Than Being Attractive Will, Says Science - The San Francisco Chronicle (01.17.12)
“The kind of confidence we’re talking about really comes down to feeling good about your appearance and attractiveness,” says Craig Malkin, Ph.D., a Harvard psychologist. “Men and women both prefer a confident date, for a number of reasons.” For one, confident folks are natural salespeople.Read the full article.
2011
Interviews
The Great Stall: Expert Ways to get your Rear in Gear - Psychology Today (11.01.11)
“I call it the library cure: Create a dedicated work space where all you can do if you don’t focus on the task is twiddle your thumbs. Use it daily. Over time, your brain will begin to associate work with the space.” —Craig Malkin, Ph.D.Read the full article.
Bond Boosters: Tips to help bring back romance - Psychology Today (06.01.11)
"Exercising regularly combats stress and improves your mood, making fights less likely, and it maintains your health and energy for a more active sex life—which comes with its own benefits." —Craig Malkin, Ph.D.Read the full article.
Wee Wisdom: The benefits of staying young at heart - Psychology Today (05.01.11)
"Children see the world with beginners' eyes. They aren't constrained by experience, so a box could just as easily be a castle or a car. I'm always trying to see things as if I've glimpsed them anew." —Craig Malkin, Ph.D.Read the full article.
Guest commentary: Spend time, not money, this Valentine's Day - Cambridge Chronicle (02.11.11)
Singles feel pressure to be a couple. In love and haven’t tied the knot? Feb. 14 can quickly collapse into a day of wishful thinking and analysis. Many couples even compare their bond to others, wondering if it is as good as their neighbor’s love.Read the full article.
Love is Blind…and Numb?: Why You Can’t Always Feel When Love Hurts - Psychology Today (01.06.11)
Blinded by the glow of romantic love (or the love of one’s children), we tend to miss the faults, the disappointments, the slights—minor and sometimes even major—in the people we love the most. Now it appears there may be a powerful neurological component to love-blindness. Read the full article.
2010
Isle of Man: Humor is the Fastest Way to his Heart, Experts Say- The Toronto Star (10.26.10)
Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist who trained and taught at Harvard University and is currently writing a book about human attraction, says both genders rate humour high on their list of desirable qualities. Read the full article.
The Attitude that Attracts Love- Women’s Health (09.01.10)
When you smile at someone, it may fire up a bundle of neurons in the frontal lobe of their brain, triggering happy feelings, says Craig Malkin, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Cambridge, Massachusetts.Read the full article.
5 Things Happy Couples Know- www.sheknows.com (07.02.10)
When you’re stressed, it’s natural to look around for what might be causing the problem, says Craig Malkin, Ph.D…For couples, that means a fair — or perhaps unfair — amount of finger-pointing. “Sometimes it’s better to accept that a situation is hard, no matter what your partner does or doesn’t do—and seek his support. You can bond and even laugh over stress if you quit finding fault,” says Dr. Malkin. Read the full article.
Do You Put People on Pedestals? - single-woman.tv (05.21.10)
We’re all given to idol-worship at times, you can’t place someone on a pedestal without giving up some awareness of your own strength and virtues. The more helpless and powerless we feel over important events, Malkin argues, the more prone we are to idol-worship, “Strictly speaking, we don’t so much lift people up, as lower ourselves to make our idols seem larger than life.
Staying In Love When He’s Never Home – www.LovingYou.com (05.01.10)
According to Craig Malkin, PhD, Director YM Psychotherapy & Consultation, Inc., the most important step a frenzied mom can take is to devote less time to being angry at her absent husband and more time thinking about what will make things better. Read the full article.
9 Ways to Cure Jealousy – www.LovingYou.com (03.01.10)
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin, Director of YM Psychotherapy & Consultation, Inc. and writing a book about how people control attraction, when you’re separated from your partner, it’s natural to feel jealous. However, it isn’t natural to actjealous. Read the full article.
When Baby Makes 3 - Oregon Bend Bulletin (02.12.10)
Instead of believing children doom a relationship, [Massachusetts clinical psychologist and relationship expert Craig Malkin] thinks kids may just speed up an already doomed couple toward a split. Read the full article.
Rules of Attraction – HealthLine.com (02.01.10)
Dr. Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist who is currently writing a book about how we control desire, noted that the power of this neurochemical cocktail can be potent. Read the full article.
2009
Interviews
Will He Cheat? 14 Red Flags You Can’t Ignore - LifeScript.com (12.09.09)
“If a guy is organizing his life to spend less time with his partner, it doesn’t really matter whether he has met someone,” Malkin says. “Such behavior signals a distance that’s “always a breeding ground for infidelity.” Read the full article.
The Rules of Long-Distance Relationships - Marie Claire (12.01.09)
Use those extra minutes to plan regular phone dates, ideally when you can both tune out everything else. “These calls need to be scheduled so you can expect and look forward to them,” says psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin. That structure will keep you present in each other’s daily lives despite the physical separation. Read the full article.
Date Wanted: Must Love Dogs - Happen Magazine, Match.com (07.07.09)
Daters who insist on fellow pet lovers have the right idea, according to Craig Malkin, Ph.D., [...] “You should be sure the person you’re dating is as into animals as you are,” says Malkin. Read the full article.
Are We Falling for the Same Man Again and Again? Eliminate Dating Déjà Vu - Boston Examiner (07.01.09)
“Years of research confirm the importance of childhood (‘early attachment’) in our romantic patterns,” said Craig Malkin, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Cambridge, MA. “So all those books about the role of childhood are right; your father’s emotional distance did influence your choice of stoic men; but your continued attraction to strong, silent types has far more to do with the present than the past.” Read the full article.
The Laws of Attraction – IndianExpress.com (06.21.09)
“Complexity will always be the rule when it comes to the biology of romance.” Read the full article.
Love in the Time of the Recession - The Atlanta Journal Constitution (06.14.09)
No need to drop out of the dating scene if you lose your job. Yes, you can pretty much count on being asked, “So, what do you do?” but being between jobs doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. Here are some tips from Craig Malkin. Read the full article.
Sex After Baby: How to Get Your Groove Back - LifeScript.com (06.09.09)
After you’ve just had a baby, beds are more for sleeping than romping. But even if you’re too tired to think about sex, your hubby probably isn’t. So how can you get your groove back? Find out now. Read the full article.
How to Repattern our Behavior to Choose the Right Relationships - VoiceAmerica Talk Radio (03.16.09)
Radio Interview with Patricia Raskin of Patricia Raskin Positive Living. Listen to the full interview.
How to Indulge Each Others’ Hobbies - Happen Magazine, Match.com (03.02.09)
Says clinical psychologist Craig Malkin, “There’s nothing sexier than the excitement, enthusiasm, and passion that a hobby can bring.” Read the full article.
