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The Science of First Dates

Show interest if you're the least bit attracted.

Despite the pervasive myth we like to chase after people, the actual dating research paints a different picture: no one wants to date people who play hard to get. There's a world of difference between someone who's less available because . . . Read Keep it Interesting

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Welcome friends and fans. Thank you for following my work and sharing your feedback. I deeply appreciate the thoughtfulness and gratitude so many of you have conveyed in your comments and messages. I’ve been moved not only by the pain and power of your stories, but the courage you’ve shown in sharing them. I wish I could reply to each of you, at length, but due to the volume of correspondence I receive, I’m no longer able to. But please know that I read all your questions and comments and often address the issues they raise in my articles. One other disclaimer: HIPPA law restricts psychologists from providing therapeutic advice or conducting sensitive conversations through social media or email. I apologize for any inconvenience this might cause. If you’d like to set up a confidential face-to-face, skype, or phone consultation, please call my office: 617-491-1660. You can find fees here. I ‘m grateful your interest and support!  

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Entries in communication (6)

Friday
Dec142012

How to Overcome Neediness

 

photo by istock

When we’re gripped by the terror of neediness, we feel completely out of control. We wonder if any amount of reassurance will ever be enough. How can we understand these moments? More importantly, how can the needy find relief?

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Friday
Jun222012

Are Secure Relationships the Key to an Exciting Life?


Do you want more thrills out of life? Have you lost your spirit for adventure? New research suggests that if you want your mojo back–or just want to find it for the first time–you can start by working on the quality of your connections.

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Thursday
Mar152012

How to Overcome Intimacy Fears: Lessons from a Vampire Slayer

The tactics we use to avoid intimacy can make our relationships more fraught and the world seem like an even more dangerous place. So how do we overcome all these fears and truly trust the people we love?

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Thursday
Oct072010

What Prevents You from Growing as a Person?: My Back

I’ve noticed a rather disturbing trend these days. Even among psychologists, more and more authors in the blogosphere have begun to dabble in a form of writing that seems more like personal venting than informal professional guidance. It’s unconscionable. But don’t worry; I have some ideas about how to fix it all. You see, it all comes down to my back problems.

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Thursday
Sep162010

Romance on the Road: Part Two  

Or Talk Free Relationship Fix 12,005: Feelings First Couples have some of their worst fights in the car—and if you’ve spent any time at all on the road (or read my previous posts), you already knew this. In Keeping Love Alive in the Passenger Seat, I explored how a simple fight can often mask deeper existential and relational anxieties. But there are other, equally powerful factors that can fuel a car fight.

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