Can Passion and Security Coexist? Reflections on Cronenberg’s "A Dangerous Method"

Once you've built a home, a family, a life together, how do you make sense of the fact that the thrill is–or seems to be–gone? Can passion and security coexist? Or do we inevitably trade excitement for stability when we commit to someone? Do we have to rein in our most powerful impulses to protect the very relationship we've worked so hard to build?

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Is Sex Mindless?

You’ll notice an emerging theme both here and in my psychology today blog: Passion isn’t just a feeling; it’s movement. It’s a furtive glance, an inside joke, and yes, it’s middle aged parents planning a date night. The whole reason I wrote the Valentine’s day piece, which reviewed research on the role of behavior in romantic attraction, was to reclaim and celebrate human agency in romance.

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Survival of the Funniest: Humor and Attraction

A journalist recently interviewed me about the link between humor and attraction. You probably guessed there’s some connection, but did you know just how strong it is? There’s actually a wealth of research devoted to this subject, and the article above mentions just a few of the highlights Bottom line: in dating—and in life—a sense of humor can only help.

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How to Avoid an Affair: Advice from a Frog

Feeling tempted to stray from your partner? You could learn a lot about self-control from Frog and Toad. No, you didn’t misunderstand me (or if you did, please comment below and tell me what you thought I meant—maybe there’s another interpretation of the story I should know). I recently rediscovered Arnold Lobel’s Frog and Toad during the story-time segment of my daughters’ bed time routine (thanks to a good friend who gave us the book as a gift). It’s a charming collection.

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A Little Dating Wisdom: How to Avoid Crack Dealers

A staggering number of dating disasters can be traced to unconscious (automatic) choices. Self-awareness is crucial when it comes to changing bad attraction patterns, and very few forces push us to the edge of romantic disaster quite as quickly as reflexive, mindless decision making—except, of course, stubborn, conscious decision making.

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