Talk-Free Relationship Fix #56: Self-Care

Want to improve your relationship? Run. Not away, of course. I just mean go for a run. In an earlier post, I wrote about the importance of knowing when to end a conversation. Sometimes, more talk isn’t the best solution to your romantic troubles. When I posted that article, I was already drawing on the considerable evidence that being in a high stress (“fight or flight”) state while discussing your relationship usually does more harm than good. This week I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the latest stress response research I heard cited at a conference a few weeks ago.

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Romance on the Road: Part Two

Or Talk Free Relationship Fix 12,005: Feelings First Couples have some of their worst fights in the car—and if you’ve spent any time at all on the road (or read my previous posts), you already knew this. In Keeping Love Alive in the Passenger Seat, I explored how a simple fight can often mask deeper existential and relational anxieties. But there are other, equally powerful factors that can fuel a car fight.

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Talk-Free Relationship Fix # 400.5: Answer the Question You Wish You’d Been Asked

This is actually one of the handiest pieces of relationship advice I’ve ever come across—and it works at the earliest dating stages. Actually, the precise quote is, “Never answer the question that is asked of you. Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you.” I should add that this curious tip comes, of all places, straight from the mouth of the controversial, former Secretary of Defense, Robert Strange McNamara (yup, that’s his real middle name).

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Talk Free Relationship Fix #1: Touch

We’ve always attributed special powers to touch. Our cultural imagination is teeming with images of catastrophic or transformational contact, both sacred and profane. God reaches out to touch Adam and offers the spark of life. Midas touches the world and all becomes still. A mother holds her child’s hand for the very first time and her entire world—everything around her—changes all at once.

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Talk-Free Relationship Fix #10,302: Say No Without Starting Trouble

(Even more impressive than starting in the 700’s is breaking the 10,000 mark) OK, so this one does require a few words, but not many. For some reason, the last few posts generated curiosity about how to preserve harmony when you just want to say no. It’s true—being able to say no is an important relationship skill, in and of itself, so here are some quick thoughts.

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