Smile: It's an Aphrodisiac
Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 12:52PM One question I hear all the time is, “how do I flirt?” Believe it or not, there’s an answer to that question.
Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University, studied hour after hour of men and women flirting, carefully cataloging, at each instant, which glance or gesture seemed to have the greatest impact. Along the way she found an assortment of giggles, skirt hikes, hair flips, head nods, and even lip licks, but one move , more than any other, successfully attracted men again and again: A smile with a direct gaze. Just to prove how clueless we guys are, it turns out once is not nearly enough. The women in Dr. Moore’s study who were approached by the most men had to throw a happy glance multiple times before a man sauntered over. When they did, 60% of the men eventually found their courage and said hello.
Ah, but what did these women look like?
It didn’t matter. The women who enjoyed the most approaches by men weren’t the prettiest. They were the hardest working. The greater the number of signals they sent, the more men approached. Regardless of looks, the women who sent the most signals enjoyed more approaches than attractive women who sent none at all.
Want to learn to flirt? Work on your smile.
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Reader Comments (4)
Craig, this is so true. I remember it well from my dating days...the women who let me know they were available and interested in talking got my attention.
Een now, after 29 years of marriage, when my wife and I are at a party, I always talk with the women who smile warmly, not the prettiest ones.
Thanks for your comment, Mitch
I've often thought good flirting is just an extension of good social skills. A smiling, approachable stance is probably the best choice for men and women in most social situations. It makes it a whole lot easier to talk.
Craig, Monica Moore was my undergraduate psychology advisor at Webster in Saint Louis. I think you knew that. She used to reference a colleague that did her flirting research in the gay world. I think his name was Tim Berber.
@Jim
I did remember that connection. Thanks for reminding me of her colleague's research. I might track track it down for another post.