Why Your Neighbor is Your Next True Love

Matchmakers know their best shot at success is to pair people up based on attitudes and preferences. Gathering data for matching purposes is the bread and butter of on-line dating sites, and they have good reason to be confident in their approach. Decades of attraction research prove that similarity across a range of interests—favorite authors, politicians, TV shows, restaurants, heavy metal bands, and mullet styles—strongly predicts a couple’s chance of pairing up and shacking up, whether for a few weeks or for a life-time: the greater the similarity, the greater the attraction. Still, there’s another factor you need you know about that can override even the power of similarity.

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Smile: It's an Aphrodisiac

One question I hear all the time is, “how do I flirt?” Believe it or not, there’s an answer to that question.

Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University,  studied hour after hour of men and women flirting, carefully cataloging, at each instant, which glance or gesture seemed to have the greatest impact. Along the way she found an assortment of giggles, skirt hikes, hair flips, head nods, and even lip licks, but one move , more than any other, successfully attracted men again and again: A smile with a direct gaze. Just to prove how clueless we guys are, it turns out once is not nearly enough.

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Welcome!

Dr. Craig Malkin founded YM Psychotherapy and Consultation, Inc. to help meet the rapidly growing need for sound relationship and dating advice. Too few approaches are based on the rigors of scientific research and the wisdom of the best writers and clinicians in the field. Here, you’ll find both. Be sure to check back over the coming months for more fresh advice, tips, and perspectives on relationships and dating.

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