Survival of the Funniest: Humor and Attraction
Friday, November 5, 2010 at 11:54AM A journalist recently interviewed me about the link between humor and attraction. You probably guessed there’s some connection, but did you know just how strong it is?
There’s actually a wealth of research devoted to this subject, and the article above mentions just a few of the highlights Bottom line: in dating—and in life—a sense of humor can only help.
I’ll get to the practical implications soon enough, but first, there are some caveats to keep in mind that can be hard to get to in the space of an interview.
Even if the gender difference (in how women experience humor) holds up across studies, the reason for the discrepancy isn’t clear. The most popular theory is what I’ve called “survival of the funniest”: women are more selective (since eggs are rarer than sperm), so they evolved a more finely-tuned brain and body for picking genetically superior partners.
But it’s also possible that men, who historically possess more resources and power than women, have had the luxury of choosing looks over smarts precisely because they don’t need to worry about finding a breadwinner. In contrast, women who choose their partner rashly do so at their own peril: the hottest guy isn’t always the most resourceful one—a fact that matters when you’re trying to support a family. It’ll be interesting to see how this difference holds up over time, as gender roles continue to become more egalitarian.
Still, the most interesting moment in my interview came when the reporter asked. “Any tips for people who want to be funnier?”
Yes actually. He mentioned one of my tips, apparently shared by other experts as well, (taking an improv class), but he didn’t have time for the rest of my answer so, here it is.
One of the easiest ways to learn a skill is by hanging around people who already have it. Psychologists call it “modeling”: learning by imitation. If you fall short in the humor category, watch more stand-up, take an improv class, or read the best humorists. You probably won’t become a top comedian, but you’ll definitely develop a sense of what makes a story or situation funny.
Note to my readers: I'll probably be keeping posts shorter for a little while. Big developments with the book. I promise to give updates!
If you like my posts, let me know! Let's connect on facebook and twitter. I frequently respond to comments and questions there. And feel free to check out www.drcraigmalkin.com for more tips and advice, as well as information on my book in progress.
Reader Comments (3)
I remember in third grade when I suddenly realized boys were "cute" and felt that first attraction--it was the day I noticed how funny they were. I think Robert, Ira and Chris were fighting each other with trash can lids as shields, but they were saying very humorous things--much more funny than girls and that is how attraction started for me. It's interesting to hear the research supports this!
I was wondering if modeling can work for learning how to attract partners who have the traits that I find attractive.
Thanks for reading. The research on humor and attraction is fascinating--especially the recent MRI studies--and I love to share it.