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The Science of First Dates

Show interest if you're the least bit attracted.

Despite the pervasive myth we like to chase after people, the actual dating research paints a different picture: no one wants to date people who play hard to get. There's a world of difference between someone who's less available because . . . Read Keep it Interesting

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Welcome friends and fans. Thank you for following my work and sharing your feedback. I deeply appreciate the thoughtfulness and gratitude so many of you have conveyed in your comments and messages. I’ve been moved not only by the pain and power of your stories, but the courage you’ve shown in sharing them. I wish I could reply to each of you, at length, but due to the volume of correspondence I receive, I’m no longer able to. But please know that I read all your questions and comments and often address the issues they raise in my articles. One other disclaimer: HIPPA law restricts psychologists from providing therapeutic advice or conducting sensitive conversations through social media or email. I apologize for any inconvenience this might cause. If you’d like to set up a confidential face-to-face, skype, or phone consultation, please call my office: 617-491-1660. You can find fees here. I ‘m grateful your interest and support!  

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Tuesday
Aug162011

Marriage after Kids

This is my latest post from psychology today. It seems to have generated some controversy in the comments. Read the Psychology Today article »

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Tuesday
Aug022011

8 Steps You Should Take Before Living with Your Partner

"Do you think my boyfriend and I should live together?" my client asked. I could tell from her bloodshot eyes that she'd been pondering the question all night. What scares you the most?" I asked "Frankly," she said, smiling weakly, "I'm afraid it'll ruin our relationship."

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Tuesday
Aug022011

Is Sex Mindless?

You’ll notice an emerging theme both here and in my psychology today blog: Passion isn’t just a feeling; it’s movement. It’s a furtive glance, an inside joke, and yes, it’s middle aged parents planning a date night. The whole reason I wrote the Valentine’s day piece, which reviewed research on the role of behavior in romantic attraction, was to reclaim and celebrate human agency in romance.

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Wednesday
Feb022011

Love...Still Blind

Just days after I posted my latest article on Psychology Today, I came across a new study, adding further support to Shakespeare’s famous lines:.... But love is blind and lovers cannot see/The pretty follies that themselves commit;/ For if they could, Cupid himself would blush/ To see me thus transformed to a boy.

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Friday
Jan072011

Love is Blind...and Numb? Why You Can't Always Feel When Love Hurts

The fMRI has come in handy for researchers wanting to know more about what happens when we're falling in love. In the past, psychologists had to rely entirely on self-report when trying to understand what people feel from one moment to the next. Now we can take a picture. The advent of fMRI technology makes it easier than ever to see what happens to the brain in love.

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