Jealousy, interrupted.

It fuels suspense in the greatest novels. It’s a motive for murder. It even has its own color. Jealousy—the green-eyed monster. Taming it’s not easy, but you’ll find it’s a lot easier if you know what keeps it alive (that’s true of a lot of problem behaviors--for more examples, see: Romance on the Road, Part I and Part II, Why Your Neighbor is Your Next True Love, and info on my book about controlling attraction). Dictionary.com defines jealousy as:

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An Assertiveness Cheat-Sheet

Trying to stand up for yourself? Remember your A, B, C’s. I’ve already shared my perspective on the art of saying no. It’s probably one of the most important social skills you can master. But proper assertiveness statements--part of a broader class of assertive communication techniques--tend to come in handy across situations, and along with the gentle limit-setting of a gracefully delivered no, they can help you draw clearer boundaries around your relationships. In the end, everyone benefits from this. You’ll have a much easier time maintaining your integrity, self-esteem and sometimes safety, and your friends, partners, and dates have an easier time getting to know who you really are.

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Romance on the Road: Part Two

Or Talk Free Relationship Fix 12,005: Feelings First Couples have some of their worst fights in the car—and if you’ve spent any time at all on the road (or read my previous posts), you already knew this. In Keeping Love Alive in the Passenger Seat, I explored how a simple fight can often mask deeper existential and relational anxieties. But there are other, equally powerful factors that can fuel a car fight.

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How to Avoid an Affair: Advice from a Frog

Feeling tempted to stray from your partner? You could learn a lot about self-control from Frog and Toad. No, you didn’t misunderstand me (or if you did, please comment below and tell me what you thought I meant—maybe there’s another interpretation of the story I should know). I recently rediscovered Arnold Lobel’s Frog and Toad during the story-time segment of my daughters’ bed time routine (thanks to a good friend who gave us the book as a gift). It’s a charming collection.

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Talk-Free Relationship Fix # 400.5: Answer the Question You Wish You’d Been Asked

This is actually one of the handiest pieces of relationship advice I’ve ever come across—and it works at the earliest dating stages. Actually, the precise quote is, “Never answer the question that is asked of you. Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you.” I should add that this curious tip comes, of all places, straight from the mouth of the controversial, former Secretary of Defense, Robert Strange McNamara (yup, that’s his real middle name).

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